Wandering around the internet this morning (when I should have actually been picking up and putting away laundry) I found this link to 8 interesting and often hilarious shorts…Enjoy!
(Modeled by Imp2)
I have found that I’m more comfortable knitting with straight needles than circular needles, the circular variety feel awkward in my hands and stitchs seem to slide off on a whim of their own. But (really big, long drawn out but), there are so many beautiful things to create with circular needles that I’ve decided to try some easy projects to get used to the feel of the needles. This cowl was a complete pain to cast on and I must admit I cheated… I cast on to straight needles and then transferred them to the circular set. The pattern is from “Very Easy Circular Knits’, by Betty Barnden and so far the book has been true to the title…then again I’ve only finished the first project in the book! 
During the month of May the librarian at the Imp’s school teaches about the Middle Ages and I offered to help out, in light of the fact that I have armor and various other Medieval fun stuff in the house. I made this scroll for one of the days I’ll be speaking. The ink is sadly a very non-period blue, but I couldn’t find a drop of black ink anywhere in the house and didn’t have the time or desire to mix up a batch old school style. Otherwise I’m fairly happy with the results, working on this piece reminded me of why I enjoy painting so much. Maybe I’ll illuminate Solstice cards this year…
I tried to talk the IRS into keeping my check, letting me return it to them, even not taxing me if I didn’t cash it…no deal. So I thought to myself, ‘what shall I do with this boon of money?’ The bulk of it will be tucked safely into my savings account, but(isn’t there always a but? *l*)…I found this Genetic Genealogy site and sooooooooo want to try it. But, I do wonder if its just a money making scheme and what they tell me will turn out to be bunk!
http://www.dnaancestryproject.com/
01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much
leave me alone.
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much
leave me alone.
02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
leaky tire.
leaky tire.
03. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your
neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
04. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be
promoted.
05. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
07. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of
car payments.
08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their
shoes.
09. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
10 Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably a wise investment.
12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything
13. Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are
moving.
20. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
AND…
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night
on the same night
~Thanks Koleen for sending this funny my way. *hugs*
A couple of months ago, I made the infamous Ham Hock Hat that fit nothing but my porcine products. Recently, I’ve joined a group of extrodinary women at the LYS for a morning of knitting and found out that I’m a very tight knitter…which sounds complimentary at first…but, not so much in the world of sticks and string. So, I was advised to increse my needle size from a size 6 to a size 8 and lo and behold…it fits! The pattern comes from Handknit Holidays by Melani Falick and she calls it the ‘Candy Cane Hat’. Sadly, I look like a flamboyant New England Fisherman in the hat, so its been passed onto my adorable daughter. 
“Major Mark E. Rosenberg was critically wounded in Baghdad on Tuesday when his vehicle encountered an improvised explosive device.
The Department of Defense announced his death on Wednesday afternoon.
The 32-year-old was from Miami Lakes, Florida. He was part of the 3rd Battalion, 29th Field Artillery Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division at Fort Carson.”
~KKTV.com
*My husband served with Major Rosenberg in Iraq and thought very highly of him as a fellow officer and friend. He will be sorely missed by all who had the honor of knowing him.
A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
The kid says, “Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota.”
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many customers bought something from you today?”
The kid says, “One.”
The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?”
The kid says “$101,237.65″
The boss says “$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?”
The kid says, “First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4×4 Expedition.”
The boss said, “A guy came in here to buy a fishhook, and you sold him a BOAT AND A TRUCK???!!!”
The kid said, “No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, ‘Dude, your weekend’s shot, you should go fishing……..”.
~Thanks to Ya-Ya for sending this my way…what a giggle.
My 8 year old daughter wanted something to wear to the next Obama campaign meeting and this is what I came up with.
