Turkey Poem

Published November 16, 2007 by missharleyquinn

In honor of Sorrow’s Friday poems and turkeys everywhere: 

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
my big brother Tom took me out on the stoop,
then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
and he told me there was something that I had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
when he told me of the horrors of…. Black November.
“Come around August, now listen to me,
each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
and soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
and you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.
And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
in will burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head,
Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ‘n pink,
and scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.
And then comes the worst part”, he said not bluffing,
“She’ll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing”.
Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
and as I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
I decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.
I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
high-roughage salads, juice and diet cola.
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing my fitness tapes.
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
and tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed.
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
as they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.
And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound.
So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap.
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
and smiled at me and said….. “Christmas is coming…”

~Anonymous

Advertisements

8 comments on “Turkey Poem

  • Very funny! I have printed this off for my young uns! Always nice to visit and find a smile on my after I leave.

    I’m glad you enjoyed it. My kids loved the part about the granola and fitness tapes, they kept thinking of a turkey doing my Kundalini Yoga workouts! 🙂

  • Hi! I like this poem because we had to find poem for drama class and one and the only one chose this poem to perform for kids and they loved! She also put a costume on! Did you make this poem?

    I didn’t write this poem, but am very glad you like it. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  • oh and also the kids laughed even in Middle School about the diet cola many people laughed and that girl that performed it memorized it on the first day!

    The poem always makes me laugh! I’m so glad it was such a hit.

  • Wow that’s really good! Did you know Steve Stucker, a famous news anchor in New Mexico JUST used that poem on the news? I had to go out and find it, it’s great! God Bless You, Happy Thanksgiving! 🙂

    Thanks for the info and thanks so much for stopping by. It is a great poem, isn’t it? *s* Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

  • Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s

    %d bloggers like this: