I’m absolutley certain that The Susan G. Komen Cancer Foundation has helped many people, but that didn’t stop me from grinning ear to ear when the cancer charity received the “Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger” from Mr. Stephen Colbert the other evening. It seems that the organization believes they have a corner on the saying, ‘for the cure’, as if other cancer charities aren’t actually looking for a cure, just a minor improvement or something equally un-inspiring. In fact the use of the phrase by others bothered the Komen Foundation so much they actually spent over $1 million dollars in donor money for law suits. Interestingly, Nancy G. Brinker has turned her personal tragedy in to quite the lucrative career, with an annual salary of $531, 924.00 But that’s not why there’s a part of me that just hates the Susan G. Komen Cancer Foundation, here’s a few of the highlights though:
1. It has completely ruined the color pink for me. Pink is one of my favorite colors and now everytime I wear it I think, “Pink…breast cancer awareness…crap when will my tits rot off?” Couldn’t they have picked a yucky color, like puce? Who wouldn’t want to fight a disease that compelled thousands of women to dress in the same color as Shrek? That’s when I decide to wear black, knowing real progress has been made in the fight against AIDS.
2. October used to be awesome; costumes, candy, and crisp autumn days. Now it’s an entire month to remind women that anything that feels like a marble should not be in your boob. As if there are women out there who think hard nubs in their boobs are a good thing, like its a wayward M&M tucked away for later.
3. I’m happy people are more aware of the symptoms and signs of breast cancer, but there is line and it has been crossed. We are now in a state of hyper-awareness. Breasts have become commercialized ticking time bombs, ‘walk for the cure or die! Support the cure or we’ll get you and your little boobies too’.
I miss the days when a good set of jugs was something to flaunt, to pile into a push up bra and defy gravity. Maybe we can find a happy medium; love the boobs, hate the disease without getting all weird.